Since we are talking Birthdays

Kid Sister and her epic b-day cake, pictured above.

I would like to discuss cakes a little. Not just because I love cake. But because that’s the one thing I always leave up to someone else each year. Someone from Cinespace or Melissa usually goes and buys me one of those cheap cakes from Ralph’s. Then someone writes my name on it. Then I act surprised I even have a cake. people sing blah blah boring. I think cakes aren’t getting the attention they deserve, in the birthday planning experience. Cakes are the new DJ. Djs are the new streamers. I want to be the new Kid Sister. You get the point.

The world can be divided into two types of people

Smoothie people and milkshake people.

Smoothie people like vitamins, being skinny, things that are expensive, and the smell of the inside of Robeks/Jamba Juice. They are not at all startled by the awkward shrieks from the employees strange mating call/hello greeting. They might go to the gym. They probably think vegetables taste good. They wear sunglasses inside. They also really like Pinkberry.

Milkshake people don’t like the taste of vitamins. Yes, they can taste vitamins. They bitch about their weight, yet refuse to diet. They don’t like salad. Some of them don’t like water. Exercise makes them tired. They think god invented drive-thrus. They would carry around a pint of Ben and Jerry’s if it was socially acceptable. They are frightened by Jamba Juice employees and the interior of Pinkberry establishments.