Star Search: SLUT MACHINE

Words: Olivia Allen

Photo: Jason Rodgers

Whip-smart Williamsburger Tracie Egan started her blog following that age-old wisdom—write what you know. What Egan, the girl behind the massively popular onedatatime.com, knows a lot about is dick. The sailor-mouthed coquette also knows a thing or two about feminism, cooking, comic books, and once upon a time wrote children’s books about Abigail Adams and weapons of mass destruction in North Korea. 

From seven years at BUST, to her newest gig at Jezebel.com, Tracie has been unapologetically, unabashedly honest, revealing every aspect of her sex life from the best NY bathrooms to fornicate in, to condom mishaps (she misplaced one up there for several days), to abortions and STDs. “If you’re yourself, no one can have expectations of you being anything but,” the 29-year-old reasons. “No one has any expectations of me being herpes-free. My crusade is to normalize it, to get people okay with it so people are okay with fucking me.”

She’s a sexual anthropologist superhero. The unflappable lady’s largest hurdle, however, was revealing her true identity that she’d previously kept hidden behind the fitting moniker Slut Machine. She did it with a portrait of herself reenacting a Lindsay Lohan-ish night and spilling out of a car, completely drunk. “I feel much more comfortable looking disgusting, so no one could be, like, Oh she’s disgusting.” Egan says. “Funny, rather than sexy is way more important to me.”

This new lack of anonymity is a mixed blessing. Adoring fans are great, but the full disclosure on her blog made potential suitors skittish.  Even worse, ex-boyfriends know where to lay on the judgement, “I felt like I made my bed and now nobody’s gonna sleep with me in it…” she laughs. “People expect women to be sex objects, not sex subjects.”

Blessedly (mostly ’cause she’s hot, smart, and wicked hilarious), she still manages to get plenty of strange dick. And thank God, because who else will walk you through anal and make a chocolate mold of her tang to post online? Peep what you may have missed at onedatatime.com or jezebel.com