ASK MISSBEHAVE
September 8th, 2008 by admin
HELLO Missbehave, my bible. So, I moved from Minnesota to California a couple weeks ago, and I love it like I knew I would. However, I left behind a boyfriend of 5-6 months, and said boyfriend was a rebound from my first love after our hellish breakup. Boyfriend really loves me, like……really loves me. He’s never had another girl that he feels like this about, and the answer would be all too clear if I could stand breaking hearts. I’m kind of over our relationship, I mean I’m in a new place with new hotties and new friends, new nights to get embarassingly drunk and I maybe it’s just the irresponsible 19 year old in me, or maybe it’s just the straight up 19 year old in me that I want to have fun and not be tied down and have to call him and only him. Well, every night it’s the same conversation, “Do you want to make this work?” He cries, I cry for making him cry, I give a sheepish ”yeah” then “Baby I Love You So Much You Are The Strongest Most Beautiful Woman In The World I Can’t Imagine You Not Being My Girlfriend!!!” He even has plans for when I ‘move back to Minnesota’ which I dont want to do. So here’s the thing: He told me today that he’s flying out here next week. To stay for a week. To help me feel more confident about us working. But I know we won’t. When do I break up with him???
Oh, I know this all too well. I left my boyfriend of 10 months behind to come to CA and it’s really hard. But if you find yourself wanting to get away from him to do your own thing or find new hotties, you have to be honest with him. You’ll break his heart, but telling him you want to make it work and then fucking some other dude during some 3 am boozefest is not fair to him at all. And feeling like you can’t do that is not fair to you. So you have to breakup with him when he comes to visit. Because something like that needs to be done in person. I mean, that’s what I would do. Be completely honest and while he might not understand right then, he will get over it eventually. Hopefully not in crazy suicide form?
Yeah…but does she break up with him when he arrives? Or fake that they’re in love until right before he leaves? I feel like that’ll be totally painful. I would let him know that you’re having second thoughts about the relationship before he spends a bunch of money flying over! If you KNOW it won’t work, then you’ve got to say something cause it seems like he has no idea you’re not on the same page. And it’s unfair to both of you to drag it out if it’s not going anywhere.
That’s very true, but to break up when he feels this strongly about her over the phone doesn’t seem right. Then again, maybe it’ll help her be more honest? Yeah, I’ve got to stop responding to these things because I’m always just as confused as they are.
Either way it’s a shitty situation. She can’t make hi fly out there to break up with him & she shouldn’t do it over the phone out of respect for the relationship & the boy.
Personally, when ditching town, I would have broke up with him right then. Just because a new city is exciting. New cities = new dudes … meaning new dick.
Me too! I would pretend everything was perfect and then go home and cry while punching myself in the face. Ideally, I’d think it’d be better to rip him off like a band-aid…I tend to be really slow about breaking up and drag it out until we hate each other mutually. Don’t do that.
yipes..break up with him now before he wastes anymore of his time and yours….
thank you alllll for the advice!! it was kind of a dire situation, so i dealt with it before i could read what everyone thought, but this i ended up breaking up with him and totally ending it before he could come out here…which would be in 2 days. i realized he’s not gonna get along with my friends out here, i dont want him sleeping in my bed for a week, it’d be weird around my roomates, i couldnt lust over this new super hot dude ive been chilling with. i felt like a bitch, and he was super upset, but in the end it’s whats best. haha idk if anyone’ll check this but well that’s what happened!!
congrats molly… lol
now go have your fun and enjoy being 19!