ASK MISSBEHAVE
September 2nd, 2008 by admin
My girl just bought a house that we are supposed to move into within 3 weeks. It’s a bit of a fixer-upper and there are still some things we need to finish before we can even move our stuff. I was reluctant to have any creative input for the decor and color pallets because I felt like it was her house and she should be making those decisions. I am helping by putting my money towards the renovations. This is my first actual relationship with a woman. I feel like I still like guys, I do still like guys. I like both, I’m a Libra - I’d rather have both at the same time. She is straight up - women only - My dual sexuality has always frightened her and she tries to deny it. A lot of people don’t understand me because they feel like I should pick a team, or that if I like girls I’m gay, or then it’s just a phase. I’ve always liked both. As far as I can remember, I’ve always been attracted to both sexes.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 years. I’m at the point where I know I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with her. Just thinking about it gets me really depressed. She’s done a lot for me, I’ve done a lot for her. She has been such a great influence in my life and has helped me grow as a person (In more ways than one because she feeds me all the fucking time!). She’s a great partner and she would do anything for me. I’m 25 and feel like I still have some partying and ho-ing around to do. She is 30 and doesn’t like to party and is ready to settle down. I don’t think I’m even really attracted to her anymore. I love her with all my heart and wish the best for her but I’m not in-love anymore. This is so hard, I don’t know what to do. She cant afford this place on her own until the guest house has the plumbing for the shower done (Which my dad is doing). So she can rent it out.
Part of me just wants to take my shit and run! get my own place so that I dont have to move again. I’ve moved 4 times in the past 3 years, this will be my 5th. I just want to settle down into a home but I dont think I should settle down with her just because I dont want to move and dont want to hurt her. She loves me so much and I just cant give her what she wants anymore. We hardly ever have sex now and I feel like my easy going attitude gets dragged down with her negativity.
A friend triggered all of these feelings today by saying that this move was the equivalence of marriage, though we have lived together throughout most of our relationship. This is so stressful and it hurts… I’m fucking lost.
its going to hurt both of you, but you need to leave her, STAT. its much better for the long run.
You say that you both want different things; your lives are in different places and even though you love her you’re not “in love with her” anymore. You know what you need to do, you just don’t want to do it because it’s hard and sad and people will be hurt. Break-up’s are never easy but it’s time you moved out and found your own place. If you love her as much as you say you do then you will do these things because it’s the mature and respectful thing to do.
You say that you both want different things; your lives are in different places and even though you love her you’re not “in love with her” anymore. You know what you need to do, you just don’t want to do it because it’s hard and sad and people will be hurt. Break-up’s are never easy but it’s time you moved out and found your own place. If you love her as much as you say you do then you will do these things because it’s the mature and respectful thing to do.
be roommates. and become totally full blown flaming gay and she can be your best friend and you guys can go find hot dudes together.
DON’T string her along. Be a man/woman/human and own up.
With that said, this makes me glad I am single.
I have been in a situation so much like yours, it’s crazy. I’m sorry but the honest truth is that you have to let this girl go. It’s the honest and respectful thing to do - for her and for you. You love her and you don;t want to hurt her, but your feelings and needs are just as important as hers and if you don’t want to be in the relationship anymore then you can leave without feeling selfish or mean. Even if she gets upset or calls you a thousand bitchy names after you tell her, stick to your guns, and above all be kind and respectful during the conversation.