ASK MISSBEHAVE
September 1st, 2008 by admin
Dear missbehave, do you think it is possible for a guy to be a tease? Like the absolute worst kind, the kind that you think is sending you signals but when you reply he seems to be oblivious to your existence? I am not sure he is a tease, or what’s up with him but he is confusing as fuck. The thing is that I ain’t no high school girl, I’m in college and getting dates isn’t the issue, and it isn’t like I’m begging for anyone’s attention (well, maybe perhaps a little bit from him). I work at the circulation desk at my school’s library, I see this guy like almost every day but it NEVER seems, in over a year, that he goes to my chair to do his business and initially I would just shoot him stares, and I would also do this even when I see him on campus – I made sure there was no way he would interpret my signals as anything but me being interested in him. I feel like a creep when I stare too long at him, I even mouthed the words ‘I love you’ just in case to deal with those real shy cases, I put myself constantly so out there for this guy (whom I don’t even know his name) that it now seems this fucking little dweeb is perhaps too fucking chicken shit to do anything. I don’t even know what to do, should I slut it up, should I wear one those mesh one pieces from AA under some open blouse? I tried that once and I got attention from everyone but him, including a fucking 60 year old faculty who was staring at my cleavage and I am pretty sure he saw my nipple… I don’t even know if he is a fucking dweeb, but he ignoring me makes me feel bad, and it makes me think that maybe I am not attractive enough or that he does not give a shit about me, or that in his eye’s I’m nothing.
Fine, I can accept that I am not attractive enough for him, sure I can accept that in many peoples’ eyes that I’m a nobody. But the thing is that when I start putting some emotional distance and start accepting this reality, when I do this the fucker would then start checking me out again and I really feel so good to get his attention. The easiest thing would be to approach him and say hi (I can do that) and he usually ignores me, I think he sees me as an employee of the library and nothing more, but now task seems to be an impossibility to conquer. He is with this girl every time I see him at the library: a semi-attractive (she can’t dress for shit, tacky as fuck, fake Marc Jacobs + juicy couture + louis vuitton), tall and he seem really to be into her. At first I thought, OMG, he has a girlfriend and that’s why he isn’t biting, but being the little creep that I am, I overheard him referring to her boyfriend in the third person.
He’s probably not worth it, right? I try to tell me self that, really do, but the little tidbits of info I can skim from eavesdropping into his conversations with his friends seem to prove the contrary. What do I do, I’ve never ever encountered a cock block like this? Do I still try, have hope that he would come around (this is SUCH AN EMOTIONALLY TAXING option), or just forget about the fool (I really hate this option, as I never felt so attracted to a stranger ever in my life). I could be dating other guys but he is on my mind and somehow I always seem to compare these douche bags to my crush. I am really at lost and the best advice my bff can give me is to find some other guy for me to obsess over– BULLSHIT option. I really do not know what to do…p.s: the guy dresses pretty well, fresh sneakers, he isn’t a skinny boy (a very athletic body type), and he is physically good looking + he doesn’t dress like a douche bag.
From your letter, it seems that the only thing he’s done is check you out? Sorry, but I have to say “he’s not that into you”, if he is, he will talk to you! Or AT LEAST get up the guts to say hi! You can’t just mouth ‘i love you’ at strangers, they’ll think you’re a crazy person! Seeing how much him with another girl bothers you, maybe you should get a guy to flaunt in front of him…or maybe you should just get a guy who talks to you!
are you sure this dude isnt gay?
Unless he’s talking to you, having sex with you, making love to you (there’s a difference), approaching you with obvious interest, marrying you, asking for a lifelong commitment without marriage, asking you to live together/go on vacation together/a concert together just the two of you, he’s not into you.
I have had a case of he’s into me and he’s not with 2 separate mans this past week. The guy who is not into me is dating another girl, and the guy who is asked me on a date this weekend. Guys are tricky but they’re pretty obvious when they like you. Move on, you’re better than this guy.
I agree with the two answers above-completely.
Sure you’ve grown an infactuation/semi obsession
with this guy but honestly, if he ignores you when
you approach him and say hi, I mean come on wtf is
that about? He just must not be that into you.
It seems like you’ve done everything in the book
to get this guys attention, if he’s not biting (as
much as you hate to hear it) LET GO AND LET GOD!
I mean what else can you do? Go up to him and be
like “excuse me what is wrong with me? Why can’t
you just talk to me?”
I think not!
move on girlfriend!
Everyone’s had a mega super crush once in their lives that makes them think that every blink is a coded message of undying love, and it can feel so super real but at the end of the day unless you or he start talking and see if this is ever going to go anywhere it’s all just in your head…
You sound mental. No wonder he’s keeping his distance.
I’m scared
aw, i feel bad for this girl
>>Olivia:
Yep, that’s all he done. Nothing more, and nothing less; he checked me out a few times, but otherwise he never spoke to me (except for empty talk required for checking out books), and hasn’t done anything but look. I guess I became obsessive, and I guess it had to take the vox of the populi to make it me accept it. I spent almost a year obsessing over this fool, sept 07 until now, I even did stupid things and I’m sure some of co-workers might think I am a bit nutty. I think there are two ways I can kill this crush, one being that I void him (which isn’t possible since I don’t want to find a new job nor do I think he will stop using the library), or two surrounding myself with newer guys…
>> Jaz,
Maybe it just wishful thinking that’s he gay (it saves my ego), or maybe he isn’t just that into me.
>> Jessica Fletcher,
In retrospect, he doesn’t seem to be into me but I’ve seem to have delude myself into reflecting my emotions upon him. I know guys will date multiple girls at a single time, I know if he has even inkling of interest in me (if he is like most guys) he probably would have expressed it more constantly and probably would escalate it in response to mine.
>> Jenny G Homie,
I never said hi to him, but I would turn towards him (facing him) and make eye contact with him and walk towards him and he just continues on with his business, as almost if I don’t exist. Maybe I should just say hi to him, and say something like: “I see you here quite often, the school is so big, and who are you?” I can do this with a big smile and slip him a note with my number, but I realize now that this is just me reflecting what is in essence how I feel towards him and there is nothing really to indicate that he is even interested in me.
>>I mean what else can you do? Go up to him and be
>>like “excuse me what is wrong with me? Why can’t
>>you just talk to me?”
I should corner him in some remote part of the stacks and tell me that. It would really play up my crazy part of my character.
>>I think not!
Y NOT? Oh wait, do you think I could get fired if he complains to my supervisor? God, maybe I should just stop
>>move on girlfriend!
I will try. School starting again, new fall season, new classmates, the night life seems to be improving, new hope and beginngs.
>> nessalicious,
One of my girlfriends told me that, she warned me how it would leave me exhausted and how obsessing over the unknown makes one intrepert twitches for winks… The thing is that some days I think its going somewhere, some times he checks me out more reguarly and my god do I ever love his attention…
>> Cherryfizz
Arm chair psychiatrist much? my therapist sezs I’m fine.
>> katymc,
So you are saying that I shouldn’t trap him in the elevator and confess my undying love for him whilst proceeding to work down his pants?
>> alissawins,
Pity or symapthy? I hope you feel bad for me because your sympathetic, but if it’s pitty than I guess I deserve it. Either way, :).