MIDDLETOWN - A 32-year-old woman was sentenced to a month in the Middletown Jail Monday after she was arrested and charged with chasing children, blocking traffic and yelling at police - all while wearing a cow costume.
Awesome. I am speechless.
Dude this site is dope. The stuff is soooo cute. And it’s craze cheap. I want all of it.
So how many of you thought Chuck Bass and Dan Humprey were gonna get into some gay sexcapades last night? I really thought it was going to happen. Giant letdown huh?
Holy WTF it’s a boyfriend pillow. So cuddle up with a dude with out having to smell his awful breath or be woken up at 4am to do it. I am going to carry mine around with me all the time so dudes don’t hit on me.
Don’t get the economic collapse get you down. There’s always money in 419 scams. This is my jam!
I go chop your dollar,
I go take your money!
Disappear
419 is just a game,
You are the loser I am the winner!
Ok, I’m just gonna come out with it…I’m in a funk. I can’t quite put my finger on it but I think it has something to do with a lack of exercise and the over indulgence of Pizza, Booze and Sweets. I know, I know the only person that can help me, is me. I’m even reading the most amazing Junkie memoir and it’s not making me feel better about myself. WTF? My life should be a cake walk (is that even an expression?) compared to David Carr’s in Night Of The Gun…which I highly recommend btw! But seriously girls, every morning for the past week I go to Emilia’s desk first thing and complain I have nothing to wear and explain in depth my crisis getting dressed every morning. I think I even bitched to someone that was interviewing for a job this afternoon. It’s def the belly fat which is leading to a bit of a downward shame spiral which leads to “F*ck The World gimme another stack of Oreo’s and A Papa Johns Pizza, stat!”. OMFG, I need to get a grip! So that’s what’s going on, as I sip a Dewar’s and Ginger and nibble on a cookie, that is what’s going on. Do I need Yoga, acupuncture, Inspiration, a muse, a facial, a massage, a hug, an exorcism, a new hair style or all of the above?
I’m a sucker for bromantic comedies and penis jokes. I’m also TOTALLY in love with Clark Duke. If you bought the last issue, you might have read the Star Search I wrote about him…if you didn’t buy the last issue, you’re an asshole. Clark won’t let me move into his apartment yet, but I’ve already started making wedding magazine clippings in preparation for our Dollywood wedding. I’m gonna steal his man shirts and he’ll find me in his front yard, going through his trash. Sarah thinks I’m weird. Anyway, as you might imagine, I’m super excited for Sex Drive. I’m going to blog about this twice a week until it comes out
