Ungrateful bratty cats with agendas bum me out.
August 16th, 2008 by Sarah Morrison
My parents have two cats. One is really fat, walks really slow, always seems stoned, and goes outside. The other is a foster cat belonging to a family member who neither lives here nor am I allowed to speak of on the internet. Said cat is like a miniature horse with ADD. It literally runs from end to end of the house all day and night, but like gallops hence the horse reference. It chases it’s tail and thinks it is surprising you by attacking you every time you come within 50 feet. In review: not so bright, sort of entertaining, sort of annoying. That cat doesn’t go outside, due to it’s stupidity.
So tonight pouring rain, my dad opens the door to go out to the garage, pauses to say something to me and inside cat bolts out. We tried to sort of attempt to get him, but he galloped away. I tried. It was dark. My dad gave up and went to bed. I left the garage open praying this dumb-ass cat would at least be like “running and being a pretend-horse is awesome, but being wet isn’t.” Luckily, this worked out in my favor. I found dumb-ass taking a break from his Black Stallion lifestyle in the wilds of Boston to dry off in our garage. When he saw me he took off as fast as he could. I managed to shut the garage door fasterer.
Honestly. I was so relieved. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing the cat was missing. Plus, he is sorta cute. So I am glad to see him. I try to dry his dumb-ass off. Hugging him: making sure he isn’t all traumatized from his trip out in the wild. Nope, he’s like running away from me, scratching at the door to go back outside. Wants nothing to do with me.
Ungrateful bratty cats with agendas bum me out.
I am leaving him in the garage all night.
“I found dumb-ass taking a break from his Black Stallion lifestyle in the wilds of Boston to dry off in our garage” Hahahaha! I love that line!
I used to have a cat named Cat who I really believe was a rogue cat ninja because she used to hide behind chairs and then jump on you when your guard was down and I stuck her in the guest bedroom but she could not be contained. She put holes in the walls and kicked her kitty poop everywhere and hid under the bed so when you opened the door, she could run out before you could catch her.
Evil cats hell bent on world domination bum me out.
LMFAO…love this post.
my cat does that weird galloping through the house thing, too…and his fur is long so his tail is REALLY bushy.. he looks retarded.
Samesies. My boyfriend is living with me until the end of the month and he brought his cat with him. I love his cat, but he is the BRATTIEST cat I have ever seen in my life. He won’t let anyone hold him, he snubs me when I try to pet/play with him, and he only purrs if said boyfriend pets him. UGH. I think he blames me for the move.
But I do have a tiny kitten that I love to pieces that bratty cat takes care of and plays with, so I guess he’s alright by me.
I used to have neighbors with an incredibly friendly cat named Poopy. He was adorable and ginger and white. He was so friendly, infact, that he would come into our house practically every time we opened the door, cuddle with you for a few minutes, then gallop off and pee in my closet. The galloping was easily why we put up with him. We had this hallway that kind of goes through the entire house, so at night you’d be watching tv, hear a MMMRREOW, some thuds, see a cat whizz and thunder by, then hear more thuds once he slid into the kitchen and rammed into a wall.
my cat Kitty-Bop is nothing like this. he does nothing, ever. except be adorable. yay cats with no evil hidden agenda.
its like trying to hang out today and im giving it the side-eye.
haha fasterer.
Ah, that is pure gold… My cat is like that kid in The Sixth Sense - I swear it sees dead people… like, all the time. It just sort of stares at things that aren’t really there (or are they?). Crazy galloping bastard.
my cat peed in her litter box with out fail for a year. one day she starts goin buck wild, pissing on everything she can crouch on. one day she pees on my bed right in front of my face.
i take her to the vet assuming she has some sort of bladder infection or something. turns out she was just pissed that i switched litter brands.
i don’t see how pissing on my brand new bed/bed linens equates to, “I really preferred Tidy Cats, would you mind switching back?”
my cat pees in sinks.