ASK MISSBEHAVE
August 20th, 2008 by admin
dear missbehave, my boyfriend and i broke up about a month and a half ago. we had been together for a little more than six months and were planning to mutually break up at the end of summer since we’re both going away to college. I would have prepared myself for that but two days after he got back from a two week vacation during which we did not speak once, as he was out of the country (mind you, I waxed my entire body in preparation for his homecoming) he broke up with me via phone at 1 am. He said it was because he “didn’t want a girlfriend” and “i was prefect and great and didn’t do anything wrong” (which, i really didn’t. i was the best girlfriend ever. our dates consisted of playing videogames, eating baconators, and doin’ it multipule times before falling asleep on opposite ends of the bed). we never got in a fight, i never got jealous or mad, and i let him have boy time as much as he wanted. in fact, we’d see each other maybe 3 times a week and didn’t talk every day, but i never got pissed. and he told me i took him away from his friends when i dropped a majority of my usual group in favor of all his friends, who still remain my bitches & think his shit is whack. i flew home early from a huge competiton to see him in a show, went on birth control for him, got brazilians regularly, constantly looked smoking hot, tried butt sex (yeah.), and his family loved me. i don’t know what happened or WHY he broke up with me. i feel like i must have done something, right? but i really can’t think of anything. and after we broke up we ended up having sex three times in the span of about two weeks. every time afterwards he’d get really angry and tell me he didn’t want to do that, but he intiated EVERY TIME. i tried explaining to him that sex was validation for me since he didn’t the dumping, but he sort of blamed it on me, i think. i thought i’d be over it by now because a) everyone tells me i am significantly better looking b) i treated him better than he did me and c) his friends even say they don’t understand what his problem is. i’m still not over him by a LONGSHOT & have absoultey no idea what to do. i wrote him a letter detailing my feelings as well as college well wishings that i think is amicable since he’s so “adamant” about being friends even though i always initiate hanging out and text him silly things. i suck. HELP ME PLZ! kthnxbai.
cut him off, already.
you’re hot and he’s a lazy fuck who doesn’t deserve your effort.
keep hanging out with his friends, though…
it’ll really piss him off!
See I am going through this somewhat except that dude is moving all the way to freaking Idaho for a job and I fear that once he leaves his comfort blanket, i.e. ME, all hell is going to break loose. I mean I know I am THE SHIT at relationships (although I have been with said dude for 5 yrs without a title) HE TOOK MY VCARD AND I LOVED IT without a title so ehhh, whatev. We haven’t ended anything but I feel like with distance men naturally start to turn off the lights to their souls.
But yeah, in your case, this is NOT your fault. Take women like Jennifer Anniston, Halle Berry, who are hot and rich and STILL can’t keep men. Men want what they want and when they want it. This is something that no matter how good your vay jay jay is or XBOX skills are you cannot change or compete with in any way shape or form. This WILL take time to heal and it WILL suck major enlarged prostate balls but YOU CAN DO IT. It just takes time to rid yourself of a man that you are totez in love with and still harbor deep feelings for…Soooo. Exercise, read, invest in a Hitachi, and start the process. But, YOU MUST STOP DIDDLING HIM. This guy’s an asshole and is preying on your low self esteem. Give his ASS the BOOT. Stop screwing. Take time to yourself and when that little Mr. Hanky of a terd tried to get at you again, which he probably will, stump with your MOB flip flop and tell his ass circa 90s style to GET TAH STEPPIN!
“i wrote him a letter detailing my feelings as well as college well wishings” When i first read this I thought it said a letter detailing my feelings and a collage of well wishings……wow haha I was like this just get really weird
i used to be in relationships like this all the time. the only thing i can tell you is that you are trying way way way too hard to get him to like you and not really being real. if he had a brain and you had some courage things would work out. don’t do any of that shit to keep a man, that stuff is super wack. he is a lost cause because he’s seen how far you are willing to go just to impress his stupid ass, and im sure he knows it. im sure hes thinking, “god, i dont even like MYSELF that much!” and therefore can’t respect you. nothing you can do this far in the game is going to make that change. he did you a favor, because you (being yourself, not being who you think he wants) is wayyy too good for him. that perfect girl that you were pretending to be is kinda a turn off to smart men that want real women.
now years later i’m married to man that truly respects me, doesnt give a shit what my bikini line looks like, kisses me even when im bitchy and snotty faced crying.
stop making these ridiculous sacrifices because you think thats what he wants, it didnt work, he didnt see past all that shit and he didnt get to know what an amazing perfect person you are underneith all that “brazillian waxing” and the “giving him space”.
sorry if this is super harsh, im not judging, im just giving the advice i wish I had gotten at 17 when i was going through all that.
a. this is the first time i have ever commented on a blog, but the reason is: b. personaldecay: i wish i could copy and paste your comment on my forehead… too bad i don’t know how to copy and paste.
personaldecay, hit it on the nail but I’m going to add to it…
Don’t ever, stop kicking it with your girls to chill w a dude 100% and prove your dedication. Men come and go, and your girls have known you way much longer and are there (as they are now) when your bfs go. Ditching them for a new man, just makes you (look) CLINGY.
One of the things you said you “tried” to be a “great gf” was butt sex and sex three times a day. Was that supposed to make you look more willing? This beats me, so forgive me if I’m harsh but pussy is just that…pussy, without the meow. It stretches, flexes, warms up just like the next one. Anyone else can try these sexual things w him, 3,4,5,6 times a day - and his perception of them is fixed BEFORE all this goes down anyway. It doesn’t change the way a man feels about you - at the end of the day it is what it is…SEX. If you don’t plan or want to do things for yourself…don’t do it for a guy.