ASK MISSBEHAVE
August 19th, 2008 by admin
missbehave, i moved from atlanta to the st. louis area almost a year ago. i left everything behind including my father, my brothers, and the place i grew up. but what hurt the most was saying goodbye to my best friend, who happens to be a guy. we tried going out for a bit before i moved, but i felt like i was hurting him by carrying on something that had an expiration date. i ended things before i could hurt myself anymore. since moving, i talk to him on a regular basis. he is the only person that i can talk to for hours and never run out of things to say. he makes me laugh uncontrollably, and he finds it funny when i end up telling him the same story a million times because i can’t remember telling it to him in the first place! he tells me that everything will be okay when i get homesick, and he always reminds me that he’ll always be just a plane ride away.
recently i ended things with an asshole guy that i dated briefly, because well, he was a lying asshole who had no respect for women. and my guy friend was instantly on the phone to tell me that he thought the guy i was dating was bad news and that i made the right decision. after that conversation
ended, a light bulb went off. i realized how much i care for my guy friend. i can honestly say that i love him, and i have NEVER said that before. so what i want to know is if i should tell him how i feel even though we live so far apart, even though he may not like me like that anymore, and even though it could possibly ruin our friendship that i treasure the most? or should i just step back and not act on my emotions due to the complicated situation? i’ve been mulling over this for the past few days, and all i can do is make a pros and cons list! i just don’t know what to do. if i don’t get some good advice soon, i’ll just chicken out and never do anything. so please, help! i would really appreciate it…
it’s hard to put yourself out there, and if you two lived near each other i would say go for it.
…but you don’t. long distance relationships don’t work and if you are apart from the beginning, there isn’t really any point. i would say is you are moving home any time soon, go for it!
who are all these people packing up and shipping out??? i wish i wasnt from ny. id move… but theres no place else id rather live
so what happens if you do try it and if it fails. who will you spend countless hours on the phone with when you are having a shitty day?
You’ve been mulling over it for…DAYS? Let it eat away at your soul for years, cry when he falls in love with another girl, and then pray that it won’t work out and someday he’ll realize he loves you as much as you love him. Then, then you can write a screenplay. Wait that’s my plan. Don’t do that. That’s my plan. Lalalala.
you shouldn’t pursue this. keep the friendship, but unless you’re ready to move back or he’s ready to to you, it ain’t gonna work. besides, you may really like him because he’s better than the guy you’re dating. you may like him because he’s hard to get. he’s almost a dream and the way you’re mind may be making it out, he probably is. phone conversations are not interactions in reality. try focusing on what you have around you. that’s how relationships work. you have to actually be able to be together physically
I totally disagree with everyone else’s opinion on this one. If you really do LOVE him, and it sounds like ya just might, you owe it to yourself to tell him and see what happens. Now, what might happen in years of a tortuous long distance thing, at the end of which you find yourself alone, and depressed. But! Relationships are about learning about yourself and love. When they end it sucks, sometimes when you’re actually in them they suck. But how the hell are you supposed to know if you don’t just man up and put your shit out on front street. Fear sucks worse than all the pain you might or might not suffer from if you tell him how you feel…
THANK YOU MARIELICIOUS. Tell Em! Tell dude that you are ridic into him. Women need to grow the fuck up and just do it. Life is toooooooo damn fleeting for all this shit. See what he says and if he is into it, make it work. If people back in the day could hold it down long distance through only letters and horses then you can definitely work this out. We got webcams, text messaging, cell phones. All this long distance BS people are feeding you on here is lame. We have gotten way too lazy. So woman up and get to it! Let the man know.