Spanking Trannies? People are so weird…

I like perusing best of craigslist to see who’s life is worse/weirder than mine at any point in time. This one’s pretty good. Open apology to unintentional voyeur in Santa Cruz: I wish to apologize to the unfortunate hippy girl who witnessed a most disturbing event on Tuesday evening near the parking structure on Front and River street. You saw me bent over, clutching a dumpster with both hands, while a six foot-plus tranny stood directly behind me. Fortunately for you, the dumpster obscured your view, thereby sparing you most of the unpleasantness.
I imagine you were left to wonder exactly what nefarious deeds were happening beyond your field of view. You may have surmised that I was being mugged, frisked by the vice squad, on the receiving end of a very unique quickie, or even raped… but I assure you this was not the case. To satiate your curiosity, what you didn’t see involved me with my pants around my ankles while the aforementioned tranny delivered a series of blows to my exposed backside. Those blows were so masterfully delivered that you must have heard each one sharply reverberate off the parking structure’s concrete walls. For your sake, let’s hope you put two and two together, rather than ran with the absolute worst case scenario in your imagination.
Interestingly enough, you seemed curious and made no effort to avert your gaze. I commend you for that. We locked eyes for a few moments. Mine were filled with both the fear of being caught and the excitement of being watched. Due to the distance involved and my painful distractions, I couldn’t quite read your expression… but I imagine it involved either disgust, intense curiosity, or simple Santa Cruz bemusement for all things weird. I hope you were able to sleep that night while pondering the ugly possibilities.

In my defense, let me say that I’ve never done this sort of thing before, and I was merely following orders. And yes… I enjoyed it immensely and have every intention of repeating and diversifying these semi-public spectacles. For my money, it’s more entertaining than watching a homeless guy take a dump on the sidewalk.

NOTES: aren’t all hippies “unfortunate” and “watching a homeless guy take a dump on the sidewalk”? Huh…I kinda don’t think about where homeless people poop. I kinda thought they did that in Starbucks?