I’m Living All Over You
July 28th, 2008 by Lesley Arfin
I feel like I haven’t been keeping up with my blogging duties and I feel pretty guilty about it. The truth is that I’ve been too busy having a spiritual breakthrough, and by that I mean I have been going through an intense amount of pain. Yes, it’s dramatic and yes, it’s about a boy. Sometimes I feel like “Wow, all this shit is happening, so what? I’m gonna blog about it?” I feel vulnerable about putting myself out there, and guilty for wasting your time. However, I’m pretty sure it’s part if my job to waste your time, so fuck it. The gist is that this guy I’ve been dating (and putting up with) for a while has secretly been dating someone else behind my back. Even when asked “are you dating someone else?” he would not fess up. I wasn’t snooping either, someone told me. I sat around in denial and then I called the girl. YES I CALLED HER. She told me everything. I feel sick. I feel sick that I trusted this person so much. I feel sick when I think about them together, and him telling her it’s over between him and I, and the next day holding my hand and kissing me in front of his friends. I feel sick because there’s nothing I can do, I am powerless. I feel sick because I want to be like “You’ll never eat lunch in this town again!” but that’s insane. I feel sick because I hate him. Most of all, I feel sick because I don’t.
Oh Hello me two months ago! Minus calling the other girl. So not worth it.
Don’t feel bad, you’ll get over it. Especially now, summertime, with all the other cute guys out there. Psshhhh pleeeaseee.
Ah yes. This has happened to me twice.
Hey I’m awesome - and I don’t care what you do just tell me the truth. Sleeping with another girl?
That’s cool just let me know so I don’t look stupid - because I’m not and we’ll figure it out then.
Most (all) guys think its a trap.
So they don’t say anything.
Because they think every girl is like miranda.
You hate that he did it - but what were the guidelines of the relationship?
Because boys are great with doing things that are really similar to titles they don’t want to be associated with.
Ahh yes the smell of stereotypes and labels being put to good use.
The dude’s scum. Leave him. Blog. Live. Be Merry.
Make sex eyes at the next cute boy you could see sleeping with. Lure him in with your sexual prowess. Chat, flirt, laugh. If you still think he’s cute ask him out. After you’ve gotten to know him on your date, if you feel like it, do it with him that night.
This was me as well, two months ago. I am now in that awesome place where I just wanna do sexy times instead of being all blinded by love and fantasy and all that barf, when you’re with a guy you know you shouldn’t but behind your eyes you see china patterns and baby names. You can do it, you’re better than the scraps he’s throwing you, Les, he’s also messing with you and it’s not worth it. We believe in you, ditch the zero and get with a hero!
I can relate to the situation- and the nausea. All of the typical next steps such as: surrounding yourself with good pals, increasing the level of distraction, and eating amazing food still work. It sounds obvious, but I sometimes have a hard time remembering who I was before said boy became a part of my life.. It’s important to remember.
wow…this could easily be a post from any girl.i think we’ve all been there and it sucks balls. i not gonna get all dr. phil with this comment cause then it would be longer than your post. all im gonna say is lesley, you’re awesome and that dudes a douche bag. keep your head up…we heart you!
i agree with emilia, although i believe that we are all entitled to at least one full day of self pity. after that full day, it’s time to move forward, shop & reflect. at least it’s summer time
happened with me, i emailed the girl after she had been sayin she was lovey dovey over the internet to my “man”, here to find out she writes me back saying she was his girlfriend; we essentially ruined his life (oopsies!) and now he keeps trying to talk to me to apologize.
Be strong, only goons do that to a pretty girl!
Sadly, this has happened to me also. The best advice I can offer is to grieve and take your time. You should also refrain from having any contact with him. I know it’s easier said than done, but how can you get over somebody who you’re still seeing and talking to. I think it’s impossible to do so. You’ll be okay and in the words of Amy Wino..” you’ll be some next man’s other woman soon”.
fuck him. just forget him if he hurt you. but…if the sex was good literally fuck him. then forget him. like pretend you don’t care about said incident, lure him into your web of seduction, fuck him, and then say “good thing it’s over between us. i was just using you for sex.”
surprisingly a lot of guys don’t like that. i’ve had many a man stop talking to me after i said “i’m just using you for sex.” one boy even said, “i can’t see you anymore. you scare me.” i didn’t quite know how to take that.
on the flip side, i had this boy/”fuck buddy.” a bit into our friendship he leaves his myspace open at my apt one day. of course i snoop, and to my surprise it seemed one of his lady friends was his girlfriend!!! hahaha i felt kind a bad but i did laugh at how stupid the girl was for thinking she was his one-and-only. i even thought of emailing her a video of us fucking. but i didn’t.
anyway, i confronted him about it. he denied said girlfriend. i told him he wasn’t fooling anyone. and as his “friend” i advised him to either stop sleeping with me or tell his gf what he was doing on the side.
he broke up with her that week. and now i live with him. am i stupid?
probably.
i hope you meet someone awesome.
me too. i have been in single-dom for almost 6 months now and reading stuff like this makes me so wary of dating.
seriously though, this is a good lesson in trusting your gut instinct i guess.
i learned over the years that when i have this magging feeling, even when i don’t wanna believe it, the feeling is often on point.
eat some chocolate cake, drink some booze, get outta the house and forget him. not necessarily in that order.
I felt the need to make this a two-part comment since as of this moment, I want to light my ex on fire. I bid farewell to his douchery and as of late, he crawled back and in a moment of utter weakness I started talking to him and since then he’s gotten all arrogant (his usual self) and condescending about everything in my life and who I am but now that I’m not all starry-eyed and have no feelings for him except disdain, I see him for who he is which sickens me, so after a self-righteous message from him last night, I told him it was a mistake to get back in touch, I am sick of his arrogant, self-righteous behaviour and to stay out of my life. I then blocked and deleted him from all angles.
Now I need some chocolate cake and vodka.