Bad Babysitter
July 22nd, 2008 by OliviaFor some reason I was really into this song in college…maybe because I am a really bad babysitter for none of Princess Superstar’s reasons. Once, I changed a baby’s diaper on a cookie sheet. I was taking care of three kids for something like 8 hours and they gave me $15! I never got asked back from any babysitting job. Probably because I let the kids eat candy and am incapable of getting them to bed. I’m kind of a pushover. Anyone else had babysitting nightmares?
I’m 25 and people still screw me over for babysitting money. Thats why i get wasted while babysitting. Hey they make it out alive. this song is awesome it made my night man.
I am like the ceasar milan of babysitting!
it’s what I do for a living and I’m damn good at it.
So - it shows in my salary.
I make cashflow like woah.
I just do what I normally do minus swearing and drinking.
dance party with fake mustaches?
oh yes.
You like music?
I know DJ’s!
you like dancing?
I know breakdancers!
Skateboarding?
pshhh I know the best.
Kids who don’t like to take baths?
Sing the chorus to dirty girl (by slug and murs)
kids love me. I’m cool all around.
don’t ever scar a kid with drinking around them - but do let them eat as much candy as possible once or twice and let them get a stomach ache or a cavity - then they learn their lesson.
I however. Never want to have kids.
Once, the two boys I was babysitting locked me out fo the house and wouldn’t let me back in. Little shits.
I used to babysit these two weeeird but adorable boy for this millionairess who would pay top dollar ’cause all her former babysitters up and quit on her, including my friend who told me he had to quit because it was “bad for his health”. I laughed at him and took the job.
The first night, they tied me up and tried to cut my hair off (demon children have superior strength). The second night, I came home with a target on my back which they were throwing forks at.
The third night I figured out how to beat them, so I beat them. I beat the shit out of them with leather pillows and whiffle ball bats … and they LOVED IT. They fell in love with me and kept asking their mom to have me back as their BEST BABYSITTER FOREVER!
True story.
Once, while babysitting an eleven year old and a seven year old for eleven days while their parents were in Australia, the seven year old got pinkeye and I had to call into work to take her to the doctor and wait around on prescriptions to be filled. It made me never want to have kids.
If I decide to have kids, there is no way I’m ending up with my own Jolie-Pitt clan. They are wacko for having that many children. Every time I have babysat the kids act all nice when the parental unit is around and then as soon as the door shuts they inevitably go rogue on me. Kids are hypocrites. Needless to say, this song is awesome but oh so very 90’s. LOVE.