ASK MISSBEHAVE
July 14th, 2008 by admin
Okay, so basically my ex b/f wants to meet up for a one last time for a saying goodbye meeting. I am in a loving and healthy serious relationship and have been since I broke up with the ex last summer. Fucked up thing is, the ex moved to this city to be with me. We had a violent and drug filled but passionate past and we left things really messy. He was also my best friend for 3 years before we started dating.(we dated for two years mostly long distance)
I am the one who called ex, I was drunk and alone on a Sat nite, my boyfriend was in London (he travels for work) and I just wanted to hear his voice, the whole year he has been living in this city we haven’t run into each other once. I guess I just wanted to know he was ok. I told him I live with my boyfriend and that we are serious and I love him. He told me he is moving to Germany soon when he finishes up at Aveda school this summer. And he decided he HAS to see me one last time to give what we had a proper goodbye. I mean fuck, the man has multiple tattoos for me.
I feel like I owe him that considering I fucked him over when he moved here and we left things just bad. I will always love him and care about him, also I wish we had a proper goodbye. But ever since I talked to him I can’t stop thinking about him. I know I will be insanely attracted to him, what we had was intense, passionate and ultra-magnetic. I know I will want to sleep with him, and I wont let myself. I will even bring a friend for back up to wait on me. I’m okay with the idea of giving him a last goodbye but what if afterwards he is on my mind too often? What if it just makes me want to call him when my b/f is out of town? What if it makes me want him? Our relationship was not good, while we had some fucking fun times, we were destructive and our fights were awful. So should I even consider this one last “carrie and big moment” as the ex put it?
Don’t consider it. What I find more odd is that your ex said “carrie and big moment”. LAME! Also, don’t fall for that shit. Be strong. Even if you did “fuck it up”, relationships end for a reason. Now that you are in a new one, you should respect your current relationship by not meeting up with your ex. Would you tell your current boyfriend that you are meeting up with him? Would you approve of your boyfriend meeting up with his ex gf? How would you feel if you knew your boyfriend drunk dialed his ex?
If I were you, and I’m not. I wouldn’t do it. Anyway, I know I would be pretty pissed off if my bf met up with his ex gf as a “last goodbye, carrie & big moment” type of thang.
well you opened up a can of worms by instigating communication with him. you owe it to your current boyfriend who you are in a “loving, healthy, serious” relationship to cut all ties with said ex. you dont “owe” your ex anything, but it sounds like you’re on a path of indulging him anyway.
we all have one of these relationships, and it’s always someone we shouldn’t and can’t be with, instead we’re with someone we need but necessarily want, but it’s like candy, we all want candy, lots of it, but then you eat lots of it and you get the shakes and wanna hurl and prolly end up one twinkie away from type 2 diabetes…you see where i’m going with this.
i have had MANY of these relationships, in fact i just wrote a sad sad poem about my recent ex and shit, if i don’t feel like my insides are filled with glass, then i don’t know what that scraping pain is, but you KNOW that for your greater good, for your survival, you can’t be with this person. let him be a great memory and bid a fond farewell, trust.
You’ve laid out every reason NOT to have one last goodbye, it’s obvious that you know it’s a horrible idea that could derail the really nice thing that you have. If I’ve learned anything from being in this position, it’s that you can’t go home again. Yes, there is warmth and fire there but you’ve already seen how it ends and if you revisit it, you’ll only be opening a gash that will take ages to re-heal. You let him go for a reason, so let him go now for good! You’ll both be better off. Go bond with friends until he’s out of town, they can help you from drunk dialing.
Exactly what Olivia said. Baaaaad news. Don’t do it.
What the hell is a “one last time for saying goodbye meeting”? This is the stupidest thing I’ve heard in a while, he just wants to get shit started with you again. Sounds to me like you said goodbye a while back when you dumped him, got a new boyfriend, and moved on from your former crazy life with him. This is ex of yours sounds like he’s not all together there with his weird Sex and the City talk. I don’t know any normal guys that would say such a thing or mention this show/movie to describe any real life event. This meeting is totally a bad idea and completely pointless, don’t do it!
Do skip it. And to make you feel better, it probably won’t be as amazing and passionate as it was before. It’s been a long time and you are most likely healthier now and will be way over it anyway. So it’s definitely best to leave it in the past and remember it for what it is was. Stay strong!
dont do it. i know it might hurts