There’s gonna be a lot of girls with periods and hair extensions, in life.
June 17th, 2008 by Sarah Morrison
I have been asked to move out of my apartment by my OCD slightly retarded roommate. I have had a lot of crazy roommates, lived in a lot of crazy situations. This dude wins for the strangest creepiest dude ever. Here is the story not in story form, but in texts between me and my mom. Insert “Wtf, he is crazy, and OMG,” accordingly for my mom’s end of the conversation.
My mom asks me what happened…text message story begin.
BECAUSE he went thru my room and I told him he was creepy and weird. For the past week he has asked me every single day if I have seen some mysterious coffee mug. Each day, I tell him no. So while I was at work, he decided to go through my panties looking for it. Like he must have been in their hours, by looking at my room. Literally holding up each dirty thong like “Um not a coffee mug.”
So while I was in Boston he decided that I should move out. He literally said I mean one time there was period blood on the bathroom floor and the hair weaves in your room…I was like you were going thru my room. Then I was like um trying not to laugh like this mysterious blood was period blood nothing else huh. He was like I’m sure of it. I was like well dude there’s gonna be a lot of girls with periods and hair extensions in their rooms, in life. You’re prolly gonna have to try and get over that. He said I’ve tried to live with girls before. You have def been the best girl roommate I’ve had. He apparently made the others move out much sooner. I was laughing. Like something’s wrong with him….like he’s not right in the head. He told me he was going to deduct money from my deposit for damages ie like this blood in the bathroom maybe?
And some cheap pan I apparently ruined while making grits? Like he owns those pans that aren’t non-stick…so everything sticks to them.
The kid that referred me to him was like laughing about the period ish and hair extensions as was I…until he refused to give me 30 days even to leave I have to be out by the first…and I’m not allowed to use any pots to cook.
Like I’m not making this up. It was making him even more mad that I was laughing while he was saying this but I seriously couldn’t help it.
Olivia has a studio apt she said I can stay at until I find something. Cause I don’t have time obvi.
I just don’t think he’s normal obvi. Like he’s just crazy and this is literally the way he deals with it. Like he talks about the same things over and over again when he meets people and sorta wanders around mumbling to himself.
He’s 30 and he’s a college student. He took two classes in the spring. He just sits here all day long. Like he had a party when school got over called “schools out for summer” like he’s 18. And his mom just gives him money. It’s kinda sad. No job, no hobbies, in love with Olivia.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
What the fuckin psyho!?
Shit! It’s probably for the best that you leave…and leak your period blood and toss your hair extensions on someone else’s floor. The dude totz reminds me of the McPoyles in It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. There was probably never a mug to begin with.
I don’t know Sarah, I think it’s kinda fucked up that you bleed from the vagina and have fake hair. I mean, I don’t have a period and have luxurious real hair, which is probably why boys love me. That, and I am easy. Well, Weetzie Bat is looking forward to you moving in. And I’m looking forward to your Judge Judy episode.
The worst roommate I’ve ever had now lives with my ex-boyfriend. [yes, it hurt. A LOT.] I have warned the masses, that if I see her on the street, I will feed her her own eyeballs. And I think you should do the same to this d.bag for putting you out on the street on short notice. In fact, we should put all the shitty roommates in one house and give them all a taste of their own bullshit.
my current bad roommate just went to jail for “beating up a retard.” his words.
jeepers creepers on the roomate.
Damn girl, I’d offer thugs mansion too but things are a little strange around here. Anyway, please onvite me to ur judge judy episode, i wanna wear a crazy fro like when i was in Judge Joe Young that time, in the audience
Dude this is wierd yo! Now that you mention it! When Rose and I went down stairs to re-up on our beverages at your place! He busts-out out of nowhere, I swear there was no segway…he said…”Do you know when I was a kid I used to write down lyrics to songs.” I didn’t care how random that was! I loved the idea that someone else did this too! LOL! Still very random! OMG sorry Sarah!
I don’t buy it. I think the blood is from his vag.
lmfao…..wow…just wow.
what a weirdo.
dude my other roommate just knocked on my door to say i could come out.
he told me that crazy roommate was just like i don’t think i can have girl roomates.
ooooo sexism! our judge judy case just got way more fun!
i guess he was really stressed out when it was hot ands and i was wearing a bikini top.
im totally gonna walk around topless till the first. now that i have gained weight i have a pretty nice rack!
you should totally walk around butt naked and
knock on the door to his room and ask to borrow
things
“… and ask to borrow things”
like the coffee mug.
i like the random “i used to write lyrics to songs as a kid” story lol
[…] I am living with some virginal dude with craze OCD and some sorta other mental ish going on. He has … […]
but i texted him after i saw he went thru my room like “dude musta been a long day in their with my panties and hair weaves huh?”
he was like “yeah and i didnt even find my favorite mug!”
like he was gonna bill me more the time spent….
Hahaha! Sounds like he seriously believed his mug was hiding amongst your panties and hair.
wait was brits smash hit Toxic or Toxic Shock Sydrom. I forget?
by the way u shoulda told him u bled in his coffee mug lolol
Um there is NO DOUBT in my mind he is reading this and might do something SVU on you involving semen. PLEASE DON’T GO BACK unless you are with someone else. He probably sniffs your hair weaves and shrieks like McFly
ah yes, the crazy roommate. native to bushwick i’d say. you’re better off getting out of there. felt awkward at first when i did it, but trust me, it’s worth it.
wow no words can really expressed how freaked out i am after reading that. . .i truly feel disturbed that there is someone like that living in this world
I think you should move out but not before hanging a bunch of maxi pads soaked in red dye tied to hair extensions all over his ceiling and a couple thrown into his bed for good measure. Oh, and hide some around the house, so you can be remembered long after you’re gone. I will come to BK to help.
omg jf that is an amazing idea
shit i would come the whole way up there just to partake in the fun
eff that everyone that reads this should send packages of them to his apartment
Should I come and convince him to give you your deposit back? With my vagina? If he doesn’t give back your money, you should sublet your room to a nudist hippy girl who uses sea-sponge tampons.
I totz second Olivia’s idea! BTW, Olivia, we totally missed you!
I had these two guys stay with us for a month cause one roommate abruptly left and the other couldnt pay rent.. so the guy that was on the lease put out a quick ad and the next day these two guys moved in. it was calm for a few weeks until i started noticing the excessive amount of drugs. I mentioned something and they promised to calm down.. which they did. Then one day I came home and they were making crack in my kitchen.
I was going to call the police but I knew they were going to leave the next few following two days and I didnt want it to be anymore mayhem at my house as it was.
bad mistake.
the day before they were supposed to be thrown out, they stole my car and took it for a joyride.
and were also involved in a hit and run.
Im on my 3rd week of no car.
and I have to go through this major trial case bullshit now.
roommates from hell.
Come live with me in England. I have cookies and a sweet dvd collection.
What are sea sponge tampons?