Pregnant versus Fat, which is better?
June 19th, 2008 by Olivia
While we’ve been stressing about being chubby dumpling people all day, girls everywhere are getting fat on purpose! That’s right, not only did Jamie Lynn have her baby Maddie today, but 17 girls in a Massachusetts fishing town got knocked up...on purpose….in a pact. Some people want to blame Juno and Knocked Up, so to appease them, I’m working on my screenplay tentatively called, Thank God for Abortions and the Morning After Pill and Moralists Who Hate Movies for “Glamorizing” Unwed Mothers. I like babies, they have tiny appendages and fart a lot. That’s not what my movie is about though. It’s about what really happens and why people should shut up and teach birth control in schools cause if there’s one thing I know about teenagers, it’s that they like doing it and no amount of God-fearing will be able to change that. Fun fact: it’s illegal not to serve a pregnant woman alcohol when they want it because it’s their choice.
Olivia, your movie sounds awesome. If it is not greenlit at once, take it to Sundance. They will show anything. But yeah, I watch enough Maury to know that teenage girls are having babies like it’s going out of style. When I was in high school, we only had two girls that were preggers, but then my Spanish teacher threw them a baby shower which seemed like the wrong messsage kinda, but high school health is shit. It’s like “abstinence or a slow painful humiliating death” Also that ad is way unsettling.
yeah…it’s for non-alcoholic beer, but I cut that part out because it wasn’t funny. And non-alcoholic beer is garbage, it’s like decaf coffee.
Juno was so overrated, but anyway, I went to Catholic school and the reason they couldn’t teach us to use birth control or any form of contraceptive was because the Catholic church doesn’t believe in it. They expect every Catholic girl to run around in a white dress and live a lifestyle similar to that of the Pollyanna character in “The Bell Jar”. Every Catholic girl I know uses birth control. Or condoms. Or has random recycled boy pull out “in time”. Abstinence is bull. Teaching it is worse.
trust me you can teach them about birth control all you want
but they all think its going to make them fat
then they get knocked up anyways
o have a living example of it leaching off my parents right now totally not cool
Oh yea, that’s the best excuse “I gain weight on birth control”. Guuurl, you gain way more weight gettin knocked up and its a bitch to get rid of. Unless you’re one of those freakish people that pop right back into their same size 2 days after giving birth.
I have no kids, I just like to talk shit.
Oh and Juno was fantastic.
What made it “overrated” to you, Katy?
oh don’t get me wrong, i thought it was a good movie… i just don’t think it was worth all the talk it got. it personified the false hilarity of a teen pregnancy. only teen pregnancy is anything but hilarious… so i got lost somewhere between connecting the dots.
Pregnant and fat are both something I don’t want right now.
I also don’t want any non-alcoholic beer.
Or to have to serve a pregnant woman her drink of choice.
i totz have a mega food baby going on.
as a bartender I have the right to refuse service to any one at any time, pregnant woman or DUI offenders. if they dont like it, they can choose to go somewhere else. i think most business’ have that stance when it comes to serving alcohol, at least the bar industry/
no way! A business is asking for a lawsuit if they refuse alcohol to a pregnant woman. I was a bartender and in the TIPS serving classes, they laid it out. It totally hadn’t occurred to me, but that’s why there needs to be that warning to pregnant women near the bar and on cigarettes and booze. Because they have the right to make those choices…not that I agree with them. How do you know if someone off the street is a DUI offender? I used to get freaked out when people came to my bar drunk and nearly passed out before I’d greeted them. It might depend on the state, that’s in New York for sure. And not that any of that matters with underage mommies. God. How will they make the pain stop without alcohol?
i live in seattle so it may be different. the way we know someone is a DUI offender is they have a diamond punch on their license, doesn’t have a renewed one, and it comes with a slip of paper they usually show you to make the license “valid”..however most bars in seattle don’t accept an ID with a punch on them. Im sure its illegal however a lot of bars here run based on their own discretions
Juno was great….it didn’t glorify teenage pregnancy….some teenage girls do get knocked up AND have parents that are reasonably cool about it…juno just made the teenage girl have an amazing sense of humor and a kind heart…most girls know whether or not there parents would go ape shit if they got knocked up…I don’t think watching juno is gonna make any 15 yr olds think there parents are going to miracoulsy turn into juno’s parents..plus she gave the baby away..the ones who do it on purpose do it so someone will love them (or so they think….don’t you watch maury?)
Oh…and…(most of the time) the younger you are the less actuall fat you get from pregnancy…I’ve met girls who had a baby at like 19 and are a size 0 now…I live in texas and I’m 27, people are like SHOCKED when I tell them I don’t have any kids…I have 1 girlfriend in dallas with no kids..she just turned 21..I give it a year
OMG!! I read somewhere that one of the baby’s daddy’s is a homeless man. Please tell me it’s true and can we get him a reality show or have him do a tell all interview!!!??!?! Exclusively on missbehave.
This story made me wonder WTF our world is coming to. I even did a blog on it. Childless women, be warned! I think I may write a book on the hoors of pregnancy and sell it to the HS…or at least a leaflet.
I was 104 pounds before my immaculate conception and I gained 65 pounds during my pregnancy (i took my mirror down after 5 months) and I lost the weight in 2 months. Yay. I’m not having any more kids, one is enough and my advice is to not bring children into this world. I hear kids are starting to have sex at the age of 8 and I’m so fucking freaked out.
I don’t think I’m ever going to have children. People keep telling me that my thoughts might change in another year or two - because I am getting that age, but FUCK THAT. Growing old is mandatory, growing UP is optional.
Other people’s kids are the best, because you can give them back when you’re done! Bwah ha ha.
@reagan: yes, statistics show that the best age to have a baby is in your teens… because you’re physically capable of dealing with the stresses of having a child. you have more energy, though lack more sense and wisdom, and i’m starting to sound like Confucius so that’s the end of this epiphany.
it’s more than just gaining or losing weight; “having a baby” doesn’t just stop and end after 9 months as projected on Juno. i agree with Olivia, schools should approach the reality of teen pregnancy in a different way, instead of reiterating the same God-fearing bullshit they’ve been rambling about for years. not only that, but how about a noticeable effort be made to rid my generation of the double standard of teen pregnancy, because unbeknownst to all if not many, a girl can’t get preggers by herself.
lmao i guess thats what girls in Massachusetts fishing towns do for fun i mean what else r they supposed to do??? lol if you are really that stupid and that much of a follower to go and get knocked up with 17 of your friends you should really consider a change of scenery. may i suggest Cali???