Meet America/Missbehave’s Next Top Blogger Contestants!

May 20th, 2008 by Sarah Morrison

Here they are. These are the contestants for America/Missbehave Magazine’s Next Top Blogger. We aren’t voting anybody off this round. This is like the first episode where we are all nice and friendly. We are hugging one another and telling each other how good our boobs look in our push up bras. Only love right here today. Our contestants, will be emailed today, with their next assignment. Their submissions will then be posted, for you the readers to pick apart, judge, and vote one of them off. Assignments will continue. Each round one of them will be voted off, in comment form by you the readers. So meet those we have chosen worthy. Be nice today, cause next week the bitch claws are coming out.

Good luck contestants. Check your email for your next assignment.

Contestant profiles after the jumpity jump

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Ohai Dinah!
Location: New Orleans
Favs:
TV Show: Iron Chef or Aqua Teen Hungerforce. Either way, it involves food.
Celeb that needs to get slapped: Anyone on the Hills, except for Spencer and his peach fuzz.
Celeb you wouldn’t mind in your bed: Christian Bale needs to show me his dark knight.
A brief but totz amazing Haiku on your last sexcapade:
Don’t use the towel
Mushroom hair, ugly sweater
Refrigerator

Missbehave is totally bombassmotherfucking awesome.

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Ohai Remeka!
Location: Go-Ill (Chicago)
Favs:
TV Show: The Bad Girls Club (I love mean girls!)
Fav Snack: Chips & Salsa
Fav Brand of Jeans: I have a lil junk in the trunk, so I can’t wear all the popular brands…but I love my Chip & Peppers and STS Jeans!
Celeb that needs to be smacked: They are far from celebs but all the girls on Flavor of Love!
Celeb you wouldn’t mind in your bed: Chris Brown, I am such a cradle robber!
A brief but totz amazing Haiku on your last sexcapade:
“WTF a frozen spoon gonna do Remeka!?”

Missbehave is totally exhilarating!

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Ohai Neia!
Location: Spring Valley, New York
Favs: Best Week Ever on VH1 tickles my fancies that need to be tickled, home made Brownies give me foodgasms, and Old Navy jeans have done right by me so far, which is great because I can save that extra money I would spend on expensive jeans to do something productive like meet friends for a drink…
Celeb that needs to get slapped: Victoria Beckham, she needs to be slapped with a cheeseburger, that way she loses the Zoolander-pout and gain some weight at the same time.
Celeb you wouldn’t mind in your bed: Boris Kodjoe
A brief but totz amazing Haiku on your last sexcapade:
Tremors race nowhere
I expect, but everywhere
I yearn them to be.

Missbehave is totally___Bomb Delicious

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Ohai Meals!
Location: brooklyn
Favs:
Tv show: The New Adventures of the Old Christine
Snack food: it’s spring time… diet time (should i fall off the wagon though, i’m all over crunchy, double cheese cheetos)
Brand of jeans: anything that fits my ass
Celeb that needs to get slapped: at the risk of sounding cliche, Paris Hilton. she never looks well put together and and is like the go to girl celebs party with right before they go to rehab.
Celeb you wouldn’t mind in your bed: alicia keys
A brief but totz amazing Haiku on your last sexcapade:
Sex with an Ex
Shit
He’s our only in to the party?
Whatever
Drinks
Followed me the whole night
I give up
Just like before
But I said the wrong name
He kept going

Missbehave is totally that hot shit!

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Ohai Robby!
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Favs:
TV Show: Intervention on A&E.
A. It makes my life seem soo much better in comparison.
B. It’s the only show where America can basically watch someone snort cocaine for our own entertainment. Then call it a good show by slapping on a ten minute intervention session at the end. My dream come true J
Snack Food: Funfetti Icing and Utz Pretzel sticks!
Brand of Jeans: Levi’s Skinny Jeans from Urban Outfitters
Celeb that needs to get slapped: Miley Cyrus! She should of known better then to pose half nude on Vanity Fair. Not that I care if she was nude, it’s just we all know the paparazzi are looking at her as the next Britney Spears and just waiting to drag her down. Then she turned around and acted like Annie Leibovitz corrupted her? Pssh please! “She’s just being Miley”
Celeb I wouldn’t mind in bed: Fuck Zach Efron(seriously) and his perfect hair, I’m picking my girl Ellen Degeneres! I’d pick her dancing to Gloria Estefan over Zach Efron any day. We’d just giiiiggle and lauugh all night muaz!

Missbehave is totally Awkward (because perfection is boring).

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Ohai Shannon!
Location: Berkeley, CA. But originally from San Diego.
Favs:
Tv show: The Office. Secret Favorite: Tie between John & Kate +8 or The Bad Girls Club. SUPER Secret Favorite: Keeping up with the Kardashian’s.
Snack food: Cheeto’s Brand Flaming Hot Fries, all day, errday. And Mexican candy. Or Men’s Pocky when it’s that time of the month and I need some chocolate coursing through my veins.
Brand of jeans: Cheap Mondays. All shit aside, they fit my womanly curves, and I don’t have to take my short ass to the tailor to get them altered. So I win.
Celeb that needs to get slapped: Tyra. Seriously. I think this answer is meant to be short, but I could go on for days about you, Mizz Banks.
Celeb you wouldn’t mind in your bed: T.I. But until he’s…available…Milo Ventimiglia during the Gilmore Girl era.
A brief but totz amazing Haiku on your last sexcapade:
*Inspired by Lil Weezy*
We lighted up that
la, la la la, la, la la
Two bodies, twisted.

Missbehave is totally hardbody as f*ck

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Ohai Miss Gab!
Location: Chicago
Favs:
Tv show: martin re-runs and gangland
Snack food: mc donald’s iced coffee (no cream, no sugar) , okay that probably doesn’t count…
Brand of jeans: levis, high waisted and skinny
Celeb that needs to get slapped: miley cyrus
Celeb you wouldn’t mind in your bed: can we change this to celebrities i’ve had in my bed?
A brief but totz amazing Haiku on your last sexcapade:
track bike and tight jeans/ i’m in love with a gangster/too bad he likes boys

Missbehave is totally rowdy as hell.

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Ohai Lissette!
Location: Hell’s Kitchen, NYC
Favs:
TV show: Lost and The Bad Girls Club
Fav Snack food: Sour Power Straws
Fav brand of jeans: Gap jeans are my ride or die jeans.
Celeb that needs to get slapped: Britney Spears. Get your ish together, girl!
Celeb you wouldn’t mind in your bed: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, always and forever.
A brief but totz amazing Haiku on your last sexcapade:
Booty in the air
More cushion for the pushin’
Wait, did I just queef?

Missbehave is totally fetch.

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Ohai Micaela!
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Favs:
TV: THE HILLS, What Not To Wear
Snacks: The “Elvis” from Hot Dougs in Chicago, the “Iron Maiden” from Kumas Corner in Chicago, Banana pudding from Sugar Sweet Sunshine in New York.
Jeans: anything stretchy and short for my big hips and stumpy legs.
Celeb that needs a slap: Ambre from Rock of Love aka OVER IT.
Celeb you wouldn’t mind in bed: Javier Bardem or any other celeb that resembles a monster.
A brief but totz amazing Haiku on your last sexcapade:
White, gross and sticky
Shit was all up in my hair
Over it, see ya.

Missbehave is totally what’s up, duh.